I haven't been to bed yet.... of course

So Mike called me yesterday and came over later on. The situation was as uneasy as can be expected considered that the 3/4 of us hadn't sat in a room together for over a month. I think it went fine other then the whole guest apperance by JM but what can you do? Nothing will ever be the same again regretfully this I know for sure now but it is nice to lay eyes on someone I invested so much time in. Everything works out in a typically tragic way every single time with just about every situation in my life. Whatever. I went over to Xris' to watch Ran and arrived to a ridiculously sedated ignorant acting Xris with BJ struggling to stay awake. Xris kept waking up randomly and demanding that BJ come over to him and when BJ arrived he'd be asleep. If someone demanded anything of me the way he treats BJ I'm pretty sure they would get the shit smacked out of them. I told Xris to expect being alone in his life if he insisted on acting an ass like that for eternity. I have actually seen him wake up to BJ not being there and then proceeding to cuss BJ completly out because he wasn't laying there. I would kill him. Like.... it would be like that. Anyway.

Fairy is pulling her disappearing thing again. I figured that would happen. It seems as though she has also abandoned Joe who put the dreds in her hair after she got what she wanted from him. That is disgusting. Once again, typical.

I have been researching different schools other then UK. I really dread going back there again. Like.... it's going to really take a lot of motivation for me to enjoy myself there. I want something smaller, more intimate.... we'll see where that goes. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the semester to start back or not but looking at the calender the realization that the dreaded day is approaching very quickly. I'm thinking that LCC will be on a different sched then UK this year since the conversion to wherever.... unfortunatly my birthday falls terribly close to the time school should be starting which is most unfortunate because I'd say there will be some very traumatic hangovers associated with the 22nd of August and the weeks to follow.

Tadd's wedding is creeping up at a very intense rate of.... 23 fucking days. I am disturbed terribly by this fact but I'm trying to encourage positive thoughts about it like.... his fabulous cookware and washer/dryer combo... he's more excited about the new shit then she is I think. Leave it to Tadd to be the girl in the relationship. Ha. I do adore Tadd and couldn't name one thing he has ever done to piss me off other then disappearing on occasion so that puts him on my A list. Good man. His chick. however, is completly psycho. I have talked with her more now but not without Fairy there which tends to be a problem as Fairy can forecast and produce bad vibes from miles away. I think I need to do some solo investigation on this over several bowls of dank and some Italian eggplant. I'll have to put that together sometime next week.

I need another weekend at the Berea getaway and the boat on Laurel. Time to take a little break from Lexvegas I think.... definetly... I was thinking about doing something that could turn out disasterous.... I haven't told many people about it but I am still entertaining the thought of bringing it up and explaining why I now think it is a bad idea.

The true question is.... how can you love someone that can't appreciate the calm of silence amongst a group of people without feeling uncomfortable?

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Love and Hate tattooed across
the flesh where suicide is often carved
and I thought he was silly from the beginning
but the problem with being pinned against a car while
slumping with your cocktails is that
love can confront you in a very
straight-forward fashion when you can't breathe
unless you break a kiss and who would ever
do such a thing at a moment like this?

The journey began with a mission
to save the molested child of foster inc.
but turned into the type of thing I tend to avoid
due to extinuating circumstances IE... jaded
the request was made for a companion
all expenses paid
and the first to take the offer
was the last who would complain
.... the offer was accepted

5 hours later in hazed mountain clouds
watching the love and hate melt down
because he's a creep.... creep...
and Radiohead couldn't have said it better
because those tears fucked me into loving someone
and it felt spectacular
but not half as good as the ocean
and the things I have been influenced to do
in the past alongside a staircase of
projected moonlight along smooth water

I never believed a word he said
and now I know it would have been
a very white wedding of sorrowful addictions
but what fun we could have had
if only I could breathe...